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What does it mean to be a monastic in today's culture? What does it prosper to give up everything to follow an invisible God? Why would someone even do it given all our society can offer the person? It is almost non-sensical; however, to some it is the only way to make sense within.
Yes, I am a fool ... a fool for Christ's sake and how happy I am to both share in its witness and its personal pride ( to use a dangerous word ). The 'world' in a matter of words, I have left. Not physically; however, but, by the Vows I took and follow and love and honor.
But, here is the heart of it: Though I have died to the world, the world is ever-living in me now. As a nun, a Celibate, my world has widened to such a degree that all are entered into it and we join together in sorrow and joy; peace and happiness; brokenness and integrity; purity and pollution. It is for the Vows that I am free. So very free to love all as Christ in his Freedom loved and gave all. I am not Him; I imitate Him.
Though alone, my prayer is joined by many who need someone who is still and available and open and inclusive and loving and all that the Gospels teach.
I have a story to share:
Alone the other day, a person came to me. This person had something to say which really wasn't what they truly intended in heart to say. Ever so slightly, this person's eye was tearing ... so slightly as to not notice almost. "What is the tear?" That was all it took. A simple notice of something, a window inside to something. This person shared a pain, an agonizing pain they carried for years. And, I am but a whisk broom sweeping up and tidying up.
Each hair upon our heads is counted: We, too, are watched. Falling, we are lifted; stumbling, we are dusted off; weeping, we are joined.
So, my Vowed life is sensical for me for I am his servant and witness to the Light that loves all equally.
Simplicity, Obedience, and Chastity, though counter to our driven world, it is the Divine's task for me.
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