Wednesday, November 26, 2008


In my poustinia of the spirit, deep inside my heart, I watch and witness and experience the suffering of all classes around me. People speak their stories and often they are stories of disenfranchisement and marginalized living. People living a shadowed existence with no one with whom to speak.

As one who is still and listens, I hear so many tales and watch the tears flow; however, never do I question ... so far ... the Divine in these folks as they speak. Theirs is a journey of the Christ, theirs is the walk of Job. Theirs is the flight into the desert where temptations await and sanctification will come.

'Be Still and Know that I AM God'... how crucial those ancient and new words are to each of us in our personal chaos and 'unstillness'. Silence is not so much our society, our culture. Silence is uncomfortable for it invites depth of thought and forces us at times to peer inward. The knowing of oneself is lifelong and ofttimes avoided for its spiraling nature deep inside.

Read this: Acquire interior peace and a multitude of men with find their salvation near you. (St. Serapion) ... Mind you, not through you; but, near you. That is good and makes sense. We are not the Divine but mere mortals. By our living others can see and watch and take part in the numinous of the Spirit. Not through, but, astride/near/next to.

The Divine, the Holy cannot be, as I see, in the winds of materialism and consumerism. Those are flights wherein they begin and never end. They fade and tarnish and die. It seems to me in my long painful journey toward God, toward the Heart, going inside in prayer that it is what is unseen which lasts an eternity. The unseen, the invisible, the intuited. 'Where your treasure is, there be your heart also'

As an Anglican Professed nun, I pray for all and listen to all and my life is ever a kenosis, a self-emptying one as to fill myself with God and his greatness. To be available, in my emptiness, to the other is the vocation I follow by Christ's lead.

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