Saturday, November 29, 2008


"Abba Lot went to see Abba Joseph and said:  Abba, as much as I am able I practice a small rule, a little fasting, some prayer and meditation, and remain quiet, and as much as possible I keep my thoughts clean.  What else should I do?  Then the old man stood up and stretched out his hands toward heaven, and his fingers became like ten torches of flame.  And he said:  If you wish you can become all flame."

So, what do we have here? What is before us to learn and study?  What fruits do we glean?

What is seen in the Gospels regarding the Letter of the law and the Spirit of the Law.  For me, this Desert Saying is about my life in the Spirit of the Law.  Oh, sure, I can observe, and fast, and show obedience, and bow, prostrate, and genuflect; yet, are all those things living in my heart for the Heart?  I look deep inside and query.

Outward signs of inward and interior graces can, in my view, become muddled and leaned upon as interior grace alone.  The outward signs could be simply static and not reflect the liveliness of the spirit within.  This points to problems known only to the person ( imagining that they are conscious ) and to God.  Yes, I've seen myself sleep walking through my life of the Spirit and such precious time it wastes!

So, I ask myself:  Am I a living flame, with ten torches held high for the Divine?  Or, am I a dull nothing with only show to offer?  Crucial questions in crucial times.  Pray God that I be on fire for Him, only Him, my Husband and friend.  May I please Him with the lights of flame instead of words of emptiness.  May I see my path through fire and blaze rather than through the unsteadiness of self which may blind and lead astray.

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